The Joys of Marriage

August 23, 2012 § 2 Comments

It is a stale and balmy Sunday in Ashford as I am in attendance for the marriage of Charles and Daphne Krump at the Royal Estates Country Club just outside of town. Their garden nuptials are rather beautiful and seem to be moving along just as anticipated before a gigantic bird resembling a buzzard swoops down from the clouds. I watch in awe as the creature extends its talons and wraps the bony hooks around the torso of the bride-to-be, dragging her back into the haze above our heads. Horrified by the sight, I look around to the other guests for confirmation of what I just witnessed, but find no other person sharing my reaction. The groom looks at the maid of honor, who then takes a large step to the right and nods at the priest, confirming that the ceremony can continue. The union of Charles and his substitute carries on until, again, a large and angry bird emerges from the heavens and steals another partner. Charles looks to the first bridesmaid who smiles and takes her new place with little hesitation. Again the bird returns and again the stolen spouse-to-be is replaced with the next in line. This continues for some time until guests, male and female alike, have begun filling in the ill-fated spot at the altar. It is not long before my turn arrives and I shuffle my feet down the rose-peddled aisle to the side of my dear friend Charles. My pale, terrified gaze turns towards his but is only met with a wink and sly smile before the priests booming voice requests our attention. I am unable to hear anything over the paralyzing fear I hold for what I can only assume is a swift and imminent death that approaches from up high. I stare at the clouds, my eyes darting to every subtle movement and variation in light and color. Time continues to pass and soon words are the only things still in the air. The clouds are gone and the sun is smiling down upon us with a most loving and blessed warmth. The ceremony comes to an end as a string quartet butchers the silence. Charles takes my hand and leads me back down the aisle, my mind only focused on what mistakes I could have made to seem so unworthy to the gigantic birds.

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