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March 22, 2012 § Leave a comment

Vampyren, "The Vampire", by Edvard Munch

Vampyren, "The Vampire", by Edvard Munch (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Alone in the dead of night, I wander the streets and back alleys of my city looking for companionship. While walking a particularly dark path between Whitcomb and Rupert, I am confronted by a local vampire who wishes to feed on my essence. I explain my deep loneliness to the creature and implore him to take me under his metaphorical wing. I stretch the neck of my shirt open and thrust myself toward the darkness within the darkness, hoping to entice the monster into biting me. The vampire responds by covering his mouth and leaping backwards. He points at my shoes and insists that I will never be converted as long as I adorn such hideous footwear. Before I can make a counter-offer he disappears, leaving me to continue my search. Further down on Rupert I notice the faint lights of a 24 hour shoe store and quickly move toward the door. Once inside I am greeted by a half-conscious middle eastern man who asks how I’ve been since my last visit. I respond with silence at first and then explain that I am a new customer and am interested in the most trendy footwear he has to offer. The man shakes his head and again states that I have visited him several times in the past and that he considers me one of his most loyal customers. He points at the endless racks and says that he only sells one kind of shoe, further explaining that I have continually purchased said shoe from him over the past twelve years. We continue to disagree and our voices move from speaking tones to arguing tones to yelling tones to screaming tones to violent tones and then to bloody tones as I beat him to death with a pair of size nines from the second rack. I trade my current shoes for the red soaked copies and take a moment to admire the gore and hair ground into the brown suede toe caps. I walk back into the street with a new-found confidence, looking for vampires to impress.

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